如果你今天就要快樂?有個速成法:
昨天一篇科學報告出來,有位專門研究家庭與大眾消費者原理的科學家進行了一場實驗,他從七間學校募集來85位隨意抽選正在修課的大學生,以教授之尊,「請」他們每兩個星期(14天)過來做一次實驗,這實驗很簡單,只要寫一封信,給一位他們覺得影響他們一生最大的「貴人」,一共進行六周,也就是寫出三封信。寫信的唯一要求,是學生們必須用正面的語氣來寫,而且不能隨便以「我好感謝你」、「謝謝你多年照顧」這樣的胡亂交待一篇搪塞過去。你必須回想一下他是怎麼照顧你的,然後用感情,用可以充份表達的文字(expressive),寫出一篇充滿敘事內容的感謝信。科學家計算過,學生寫這麼一封內容豐沛的感謝信,平均約只須15分鐘左右。然後,每次寫完,學者會再給他們一份「快樂問卷」,問一下他們對人生目前的滿意程度、他們現在的快樂程度是如何?
結果,驚人的成果就出現了。
每兩星期花15分鐘寫信,六個星期後,這些學生寫的三份信後問卷,竟然不約而同的,一份比一份還快樂!第二次寫,比第一次還快樂;第三次寫,也比第二次還快樂!到了最後一周,科學家還問學生,以後是否還會繼續保持這個寫信的好習慣?竟然有高達75%的學生表示,他們以後一定會繼續這樣寫信!謝謝你們教我們一個好事情!學者說,這個研究其實和一直以來的研究相符,之前科學家就發現人類的「朋友」不必多,只要有幾個,就可以維持一個很快樂的生活。問題是當一個人不快樂時,他就是不喜歡「現狀」,自然也不可能在短短幾星期或幾個月內,去「生」這些新朋友出來,那有什麼方式,可以很快的提升這個社群的效果?原來,寫信,可以產生這樣的效果。更有趣的是,科學家發現,大學生們大多想感謝的都是自己的父母、老師、和男/女朋友,換句話說,大部份都是還在身邊的人。這些人,平常也是常常在和他們說謝謝、在擁抱的,只是不常寫信給他們罷了。萬萬沒想到,寫信給這些人,竟然有這麼大的快樂效果。不過,我對此研究另有一個想法,表面上,這份研究是在教我們,「感恩的心,就會快樂」,但其實沒這麼簡單。注意,科學家巧妙的讓學生不只寫「謝謝」二字,他們讓學生「回想」一下,發生過什麼事,由於這是一封感謝信,一定只會回想「正面的事」,將這些事寫下,當作道謝的理由,所以「感謝」只是一個藉口,讓這些實驗者好好的去回想這些美好的正面的回憶、被喜愛與被照顧的感覺,這個動作,讓人有了前後的完整記憶,他們隨著一次又一次的寫作,一次又一次的看到,這些日子來對他們好的每一個人。
長期寫日記,了解到寫作對一個人的強烈療效,可以幫助心情穩定,目標清楚,但,寫日記,也就是「寫自己所發生的事情」這件事,竟然是一種需要訓練才能做的事。我剛寫日記的前幾年,一直到大學,就像剛飛入亂流中的飛機,上下顛簸,有時寫多,有時卻一個句子都寫不出來,那時候我曾經從「Dear Diary」得到靈感,想辦法改善將寫日記改成「寫給別人」,後來試了一陣子也有些效果。這個學者自己說,現代人吃得好、穿得好,在室內有暖氣,在室外有便捷的交通工具,不會冷到、餓到、氣到…但,人們卻愈來愈不快樂。而人類其實最古老的一個習慣就是「記錄」,那是文明的起源。每次有人問我,為何要寫日記?我也都是這樣說的。寫作,有著神奇的快樂療效!生下來和每個人都一樣,那「我」的意義在何處?如果真有一個「我」的意義,那就是要體驗「我」一段絕對在60億人中獨一無二的人生。就像刻在壁洞裡的古埃及字,有沒有人要看,有沒有人會看得懂,不重要,重要的是「我」沒有讓「我」不見。不記,就會不見。不見的人,活起來比較沒有平衡、沒有邊際,有時候一股陰霾會悄悄偷走整顆心。簡單的記錄方式,就是寫信給某個人,和他說一聲謝謝,這就像平常的對話一樣,不只是謝謝,而是細細憶起(recollect)與這個人相處過的一些事情,從這些事情去感謝他。在這個時候,腦子的運作最為旺盛,寫信,只不過是把寫作拿來治療的一種方法,它讓寫作這件事突然變得很好玩,也很有用。
Science Research:
‘The more they wrote, the better they felt’
Students learn to tap, express gratitude by writing letters
By CARL E. FEATHER - Lifestyle Editor - cfeather@starbeacon.com
Can’t get into the spirit of Thanksgiving?
Try this little exercise.
Write a letter to someone who has had a positive impact on your life. Express your gratitude to them, not just “thanks for that cool sweater you bought me for Christmas last year.”Address the letter and mail it. Do the same thing for at least two more people. It shouldn’t take more than 45 minutes or so.Then re-evaluate your attitude.If the research Steven Toepfer, an assistant professor of family and consumer studies at Kent State University’s Salem campus holds true, you’re going to experience an increase in happiness and life satisfaction. You’re likely to discover a seldom-tapped well that needs only a little priming to bring forth a steady stream of gratitude.“Forty-five minutes of work can provide real significant results in terms of how you feel, think about your life and appreciate others,” Toepfer says. He bases his observation on expressive writing research he conducted with 85 students in seven classes on three KSU campuses: Kent Main, Stark and Salem. Toepfer says he has had a long-standing interest in expressive writing and wanted to see whether it could somehow be tapped to increase happiness. Other studies have shown that expressive writing has been associated with fewer health problems, improved mood, an improved immune system and improved grades.
“Everyone is pursuing the American dream. We are wealthier than previous generations, consuming more and experiencing more, but yet so many of us are so unhappy,” Toepfer says. “The question of ‘Is there something simple we can do to be happier?’ is one that I have been thinking about for many years and one that has interested people for much longer.”Toepfer set up a research project that looked at the effects of letter writing, having three variables. Students were enlisted from six courses within the Human Development and Families Studies Program. They were asked to write three letters, two weeks apart, to people who had had a positive impact on their lives. The ground rules were simple: The letter had to express gratitude in a positive way, require insight and reflection, be nontrivial and contain a high level of appreciation or gratitude. The writer could not tell the recipient the letter was for college research project.Toepfer, who glanced over the letters, said most of them went to parents, teachers or significant others. He says there were many themes.After writing the letters, students completed a survey to gauge their moods, satisfaction with life, and feelings of gratitude and happiness.“I saw their happiness increase after each letter, meaning the more they wrote, the better they felt,” says Toepfer.He also witnessed improvement in the participant’s life satisfaction and gratitude, factors that are less fleeting than happiness.“The broader piece is about well-being,” Toepfer says.There was an unexpected benefit from the exercise. Toepfer says students reported positive responses from recipients and an overall improvement in their relationships. The benefits of writing letters of gratitude were so great, 75 percent of the students said they planned to continue the practice after the course ended.
Toepfer would like to continue the research with a larger study group and, eventually, have his findings published in a journal. In the meantime, the lesson can be applied this Thanksgiving or any other day of the year: If you’re not feeling grateful, perhaps you need to prime the pump with a letter or two.“We are all walking around with an amazing resource: gratitude,” says Toepfer. “It helps us express and enjoy, appreciate, be thankful and satisfied with little effort. We all have it, and we need to use it to improve our quality of life.”